


the sweet escape is always laced (with a familiar taste of poison)

by blackrose1002, BlackVultures



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, First Kiss, First Time, Fuck Or Die, Hand Jobs, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Morning After, Mutual Pining, Pining, Safe Sane and Consensual, Sex Pollen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-08 16:28:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20838548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackrose1002/pseuds/blackrose1002, https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackVultures/pseuds/BlackVultures
Summary: Mac hung up and threw the phone on the nightstand before sitting on the bed next to Jack. “We have a problem, and there’s only one way to solve it.”Jack frowned, his cheeks flushed in a way that was entirely too distracting. “What is it?”Mac tore his gaze away from his partner and stared at the wall across from them. “The stuff you inhaled at the lab… it was an experimental drug made from pollen. It’s meant to increase breeding rates in endangered animals.” His hands, which rested on his thighs, clenched into fists. “It’s why your temperature and heart rate are elevated—you’ll probably start to have other symptoms soon. If you don’t get the pollen out of your system, you’ll eventually go into cardiac arrest.” He breathed in and out, and pushed all the feelings he had for Jack as far down as he could. “I’m sure if I go down to the motel office, I can pay someone to come in and…”He trailed off, unable to finish that sentence. He wanted Jack, he’d loved him for years, but he knew Jack didn’t look at him the same way—why would he?(AKA: The Sex Pollen One)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Howdy! [blackrose1002](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackrose1002/pseuds/blackrose1002) and I are back MUCH earlier than either of us thought we would be with the first (angsty and smutty) chapter of a two-part fic! **If you read the tags you know this is a sex pollen fic, and I understand why some people are hesitant to read these. However, unlike some fics with this trope, both parties are aware of the effects of the drug and EVERYTHING that happens within is 100% consensual. In other words, if given the choice, both Mac and Jack would happily do dirty things to each other without the involvement of a drug.** Now, they don't talk about their feelings at all... but that's a separate problem to be resolved at a later date. There _is_ a cliffhanger, and for that I'm not sorry in the slightest... but if you know us, then you know we'll fix it. Any mistakes are my own, and we hope you enjoy this one!
> 
> (Title is from "Familiar Taste Of Poison" by Halestorm.)

If Mac tried to count the number of times he and Jack had escorted a scientist who turned out to be a traitor, he’d run out of fingers _and_ toes. This time they were somewhere in the Ukraine (not the most hospitable of places of on a good day), and naturally after the scientist turned on them they were chased by about forty dudes armed with machine guns in a factory full of highly volatile and experimental chemicals.

Between Jack’s bullets and Mac’s quick thinking they’d managed to take out most of the men and were holed up in a small laboratory, waiting for the last three to come in so they could finish the job. When the shooting started up again Mac was across the room from Jack, who was holed up behind a large gas canister. It got punctured by a bullet and whatever was inside it spewed into his face, but that didn’t stop Jack from killing two of the goons. That left the other one up to Mac, and a fire extinguisher to the head knocked him out with no problem.

When he turned back toward Jack his heart jumped into his throat, because Jack was collapsed on the floor. He had no idea what Jack had been dosed with, and from reading the label on the canister all he could discern was that it contained some type of hybridized plant pheromone… but why would that render Jack unconscious? He fell to his knees beside Jack and tried to shake him awake, and after a moment Jack blinked a little and groaned. “Jack, come on, look at me,” Mac said, forcing himself to stay calm and keep his voice steady.

Jack blinked once, twice, and said profoundly, “Ow.” He grabbed Mac’s arm—probably a reflex, nothing to get excited about—and his face looked flushed and a little sweaty. “I’m okay, don’t make the sad puppy face at me.”

“Hey, easy,” Mac said when Jack sat up slowly. “We don’t know what was in that canister.”

But Jack waved off his concern, no doubt wanting to leave as badly as Mac did; they made their way out of the factory and called Matty about exfil, but she said there would be at least a two hour delay. They needed a place to lie low, and it just so happened there was a run-down motel a couple klicks down the road from the factory. Their stolen car was mercifully unscathed in the firefight, and Mac insisted on driving because Jack, for all his talk, didn’t look too good. There was tension around his eyes and mouth, and he was paler than usual too.

When they got to the motel Mac went in to pay for a room, and when he got back to the car Jack was leaning against the hood but listing to one side, almost like he was dizzy. “Hey, hey, what’s going on?” Mac asked, trying to keep the anxiety in his voice to a minimum. “I thought you said you were fine?”

“I… I thought I was,” Jack replied, drops of sweat starting to bead on his forehead. “But something’s wrong.”

He shivered violently, and while it was cold out they were both dressed adequately for the weather, which made Mac suspect he had a fever. “Come on, let’s get you inside.”

He pulled Jack’s arm across his shoulders and his partner shuddered in his hold, only ratcheting up Mac’s concern.

Unlocking the door to the motel room and flipping on the lights, Mac was pleasantly surprised. It wasn’t as gross inside as he might’ve guessed from the outside, and while the room was a bit small and there was only one queen-sized bed, everything was clean. He got Jack to sit down on the edge of the mattress before he pulled out his phone to call Riley.

“Hey, Riles, it’s Mac,” he said when she picked up. “I’ve got no internet out here—I need you to run something through a translator for me.” He glanced at Jack—who’d shucked off his jacket but it didn’t seem to be helping his temperature situation—before reciting what the canister had said from memory. “Please tell me you can tell me what it said.”

“I ran this through the translator three times, just to be sure,” Riley started, her voice strained and hesitant. “But the same result keeps coming up, it’s…” She trailed off and Mac’s heart dropped. “Mac, it says it means ‘sex inducing pollen’.”

Mac’s eyes went wide with shock. He’d heard about something like that—only rumors, never anything concrete, but he’d done his fair share of reading on the subject like he did whenever he encountered something odd. According to the journal he’d studied, the pollen was _theoretically_ able to increase a subject’s sex drive to a level that was impossible to ignore. It was supposed to be used on endangered animals to get them to breed more effectively, but the problem was if the subject _didn’t_ have sex within a certain time frame to get the pollen out of their system, it killed them via cardiac arrest.

Mac pinched the bridge of his nose to ward off a headache and thanked Riley, adding that she should tell Matty to postpone exfil until tomorrow morning. He hung up and threw the phone on the nightstand before sitting on the bed next to Jack. “We have a problem, and there’s only one way to solve it.”

Jack frowned, his cheeks flushed in a way that was entirely too distracting. “What is it?”

Mac tore his gaze away from his partner and stared at the wall across from them. “The stuff you inhaled at the lab… it was an experimental drug made from pollen. It’s meant to increase breeding rates in endangered animals.” His hands, which rested on his thighs, clenched into fists. “It’s why your temperature and heart rate are elevated—you’ll probably start to have other symptoms soon. If you don’t get the pollen out of your system, you’ll eventually go into cardiac arrest.” He breathed in and out, and pushed all the feelings he had for Jack as far down as he could. “I’m sure if I go down to the motel office, I can pay someone to come in and…”

He trailed off, unable to finish that sentence. He wanted Jack, he’d loved him for years, but he knew Jack didn’t look at him the same way—why would he?

“You’re saying I have to sleep with someone or I’ll die?” Jack let out a hysterical-sounding chuckle. “Won’t… won’t my hand do?”

Mac shook his head—he was expecting that question. “Unfortunately, no.” He tried hard to be clinical, because any other behavior was going to make this even more awkward. “Penetration is necessary to expel the pollen. I have no idea why, but when they conducted the experience and a subject tried masturbation, it sort of wound up… tearing things off?” He finished that statement with a wince and swallowed hard, making himself look at Jack, no matter how painful it was. “If there were another way, I’d tell you.” And either subconsciously or thanks to nerves, he licked his lips after he said it. The movement didn’t escape Jack’s notice, his eyes following Mac’s tongue and staring at his lips. Mac was too flustered to notice, and after he ran a hand through his hair he stood up, heading toward the door. “I should go and find—”

He didn’t get to finish the sentence because Jack was suddenly on his feet too, grabbing Mac’s shoulders and pushing him up against the wall. He let out a surprised sound and Jack’s eyes widened. “Shit, Mac, I’m so sorry.”

Jack took a step back with his whole body shaking, but Mac hands reached out lightning fast and he grabbed both of Jack’s arms to stop him from retreating any further. “You…” He took a deep breath. “You don’t need to apologize.” He couldn’t see himself, but he imagined his pupils probably blew wide open with arousal as soon as Jack slammed him into the wall. “I’m… I only suggested a prostitute because I didn’t think you’d want that… with me.”

Jack moved in close again, his entire body closing around Mac’s like a cage. His hands were clawing at the wall on either side of Mac’s head and he whimpered, leaning in, his lips an inch away from Mac’s cheek. “Mac,” he whispered hoarsely. “If you don’t leave, I’m… I don’t think I’ll be able to control myself. Or stop myself from…” He trailed off, pressing himself against Mac to make his point.

He was hot and strong and already so hard, and it took everything Mac had to keep his knees from buckling. He made a sound, low in the back of his throat that he had to stifle before it became a moan, and ran his hands up from where they were on Jack’s arms to hold his face. “I’m not going anywhere,” Mac whispered, because even if he didn’t feel the way he did about Jack, there was no possible scenario in which he’d leave his partner to die. “Let’s see if we can take the edge off, yeah?”

And he pulled Jack in for a kiss, sliding his arms around his neck and ignoring the way his heart was cracking in half. Jack made a wounded sound and kissed him back, one arm going around Mac’s waist to pull him closer even as he crowded him further into the wall. Shoving his tongue into Mac’s mouth, Jack’s grip on Mac tightened and he nudged his legs apart with his knee, shoving his thigh between them and pushing Mac up the wall a little.

Mac couldn’t stop the groan that escaped him—he was already half-hard, this was going to drive him crazy and they’d barely started. The thigh between his legs was all muscle and perfect for Mac to grind himself down on, even if that wasn’t why they were there. He let Jack suck on his tongue while one of Mac’s hands slid up the back of his t-shirt, palm rubbing over his skin. The other one found Jack’s belt and ripped it off, getting his jeans open just enough for Mac’s hand to fit inside and squeeze his cock through his underwear. While it was true that trying to masturbate alone would have some unpleasant results, a handjob might allow Jack to feel more comfortable.

Jack let out a loud growl, his hips thrusting against Mac’s hand while he devoured his mouth. He bit down on Mac’s bottom lip when Mac pushed his jeans and underwear down enough to get his cock out and wrap his fingers around the base. Since Jack’s lips were still attached to his, Mac kept kissing Jack with everything he had while stroking him at the same time, swallowing the whining sound Jack made. Mac had dreamt of this more times than he could count, and yet it didn’t compare to the real thing—the heft of Jack’s cock in his hand, the noises coming from his throat, the little twitches of his hips.

It was the latter of those things that brought Mac back to reality. He had to break the kiss to breathe, and it was around then that Jack came with a cry, burying his face in Mac’s neck. Unlike a normal orgasm, he just… stayed hard, so Mac gave him a moment to recover, pressing a kiss to his temple (he couldn’t help himself) before pushing him in the direction of the bed. He pulled off his own layers of shirts and figured now that his head was a little clearer, Jack might get the hint and start undressing himself.

Jack’s eyes were wide with lust and he looked Mac over with a hungry expression, yanking his shirt over his head. He stepped closer to kiss Mac again and picked him up in the process, tossing him on the mattress. Since Jack’s jeans were already open he kicked them off along with his underwear and boots before climbing on top of Mac, immediately crashing their lips together in a hard kiss. Mac moaned into Jack’s mouth, he couldn’t help it—Jack was _naked_ on top of him, for God’s sake.

He ran his hands over Jack’s back to his ass, squeezing hard, fingers slipping into Jack’s ass crack. And it seemed like for all of Jack’s desire to have Mac, he couldn’t focus worth a damn; he moved from Mac’s lips to sucking a bruise into the underside of his jaw, hips twitching involuntarily. Mac hooked a leg over Jack’s hip and rolled them, getting up on his knees to get the rest of his clothes off, tossing them aside before bending over to lick a hot stripe up the length of Jack’s cock.

Jack groaned, throwing his head back when Mac sunk his mouth down over his cock. He sucked on the head for a few seconds before dropping lower, taking Jack in completely thanks to his lack of a gag reflex. Jack’s hands found their way to Mac’s hair, tugging when Mac swallowed around him, hips jerking, but Mac’s arm held them down to the bed. Normally Mac would’ve had no problem letting Jack fuck his throat, but it wouldn’t solve the problem, and also Jack wasn’t exactly in his right mind and Mac wanted to be able to talk in the morning. He kept his arm across Jack’s hips and swallowed again, and he felt it when Jack came, his cock twitching on Mac’s tongue dryly.

He pulled off, wiping his lips on the back of his hand, and figured this was probably the time to grab the lube and condoms—he travelled with both, they were useful for tons of things. Mac tried not to think about how for Jack this didn’t mean anything, it was just sex and he was having it with Mac because there was nobody else around. If it wasn’t for the pollen, Jack would never be attracted to him… why would he be? He grabbed the supplies from his bag and tossed them on the mattress before crawling on top of Jack again.

Jack was more focused than before and rolled them over, kneeling between Mac’s legs and reaching for the lube. “Fuck, baby, you’re so gorgeous,” Jack muttered as he his eyes flicked over Mac’s naked body. “Spread out for me like that.”

Mac couldn’t help the way his face flushed, pinkness spreading down from his cheeks over his neck and chest—and the endearment made him bite the inside of his cheek until it bled to keep in a whine. “Please, Jack,” he said softly, because as much as the circumstances were killing him he did want it, so much. He just wished Jack wanted it too.

And when Jack’s lube-slicked finger touched his entrance Mac shut his eyes, letting out a shuddering breath as it pushed inside. He kept them closed and felt Jack shifting above him, his finger moving in and out as he settled himself on top of Mac’s body. Suddenly there was a gentle hand on his face, and Mac opened his eyes in time for Jack to lean down and kiss him, adding a second finger at the same time. That gentle touch to his cheek even as Jack scissored his fingers apart made Mac swallow hard, trying to keep his emotions in check.

He kissed back because he was helpless not to, exploring Jack’s palate with his tongue and breaking away to moan wantonly when those fingers brushed his prostate, a third one slipping inside to join the first two. “Jack, oh God, please.”

“Please what?” Jack rumbled near his ear before nipping his earlobe. He spread his fingers and Mac arched on the bed, moaning loudly, his fingers digging into Jack’s shoulders.

“Please fuck me,” Mac gasped out, nails scraping down Jack’s back as he moved his hands to Jack’s ass, unconsciously urging him forward.

He was going to remind Jack condoms were a thing, but Jack beat him to the punch: “Do you want a—”

And even if Jack was out of his mind with lust Mac trusted him, so he shook his head. “No, you don’t have to, I’m clean.”

“All right.” Jack kissed his cheek, and that blew Mac’s mind because it just… didn’t fit with the rest of this. But it must’ve been the pollen, nothing else, and once again Mac had to push it away and focus on enjoying being with Jack, since it wasn’t like it would happen again.

Coating his cock with the lube, Jack lined himself up and slowly started pushing inside, looming over Mac. He couldn’t tear his gaze away from Jack’s face, his lips parting as Jack kept pushing in. Mac’s eyes fluttered shut for a second once Jack was fully seated inside him, heavy and hard and just thick enough to make the stretch burn a little. He opened his eyes again when Jack’s hands circled his wrists, pinning them to either side of his head. In response Mac gave a little wriggle of his hips to test the waters—and oh, there was that whine he’d tried so hard to hold in.

Mac felt Jack’s body trembling with want, his grip on Mac’s wrists tightening as he started moving his hips. The first few thrusts were shallow and cautious, but once Mac whined again and wrapped his legs around Jack’s waist, something just… _snapped_. Jack pulled back almost entirely before slamming back into Mac with so much force it drove him up the bed. Mac cried out at that hard, deep thrust, sensation shocking up his body in the best possible way. Jack’s grip on his wrists was bruising his skin and Mac loved it, loved the idea of Jack leaving marks on him as a reminder that this actually happened, that it was real. His thighs squeezed Jack’s waist encouragingly, heels digging into the small of his back as Jack’s thrusts only got harder.

Jack’s lips were on Mac’s neck, sucking and biting his way down to Mac’s shoulder as he pounded into him relentlessly. It was fast and rough, and Mac wasn’t able to hold back his screams every time Jack struck his prostate. A particularly hard and sharp thrust jamming straight into it had Mac seeing stars and crying out Jack’s name, arching on the bed and pushing against Jack’s hold, but Jack just pinned him back down with a growl and somehow managed to fuck him harder.

“Jack, Jack, Jack,” was the only thing leaving Mac’s mouth that sounded remotely like words, and that was when he could get enough air in his lungs to speak. Unsurprisingly, it was Jack who reached orgasm first, yelling around his mouthful of Mac’s shoulder muscle and continuing to thrust through it, his hands leaving Mac’s wrists in favor of wrapping his arms around him and pulling him closer. And the flood of warm come inside Mac was enough to set him off too, coming untouched all over his belly so hard he almost blacked out.

Jack’s hips stilled and he collapsed on top of Mac, panting for breath. Mac wasn’t doing much better, barely getting air with Jack crushing him, but he wouldn’t have traded how he felt for anything else in the world. His legs fell from Jack’s waist back to the mattress, and Mac cautiously wrapped his arms around Jack in return, just for a moment. He felt a lump in his throat but he swallowed it back, forcing himself to get a grip.

After a moment Jack shifted on top of him, pulling out before moving a bit to collapse face-first next to Mac on the bed… and then Mac realized Jack had already drifted off to sleep. He stared at the ceiling for a moment, and as much as Mac wanted nothing more than to stay in bed and cuddle with Jack, maybe get some rest… Jack wouldn’t want to wake up that—to _Mac_, naked and covered in bruises from his mouth and hands. He carefully extracted himself from Jack’s embrace, stifling a wounded noise when one of Jack’s hands tried and failed to hang on to his hip.

Mac stumbled his way to the bathroom, grabbing his underwear and a shirt that he belatedly realized was Jack’s on the way there. He washed himself off in the tiny shower cubicle, the water surprisingly warm considering they were in early spring. He tugged the clothes on and just… curled up on the floor between the sink and the toilet, knees drawn up to his chest and his arms wrapped around them. Only then, when he was alone and as small as possible, did he let the tears come.

He’d caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror when he walked in—there were bruises on his neck and shoulders, below his collarbone… Mac’s wrists were purple and mottled and his entire body ached, but that was nothing compared to the pain in his chest. It felt like there was a gaping hole there after somebody ripped out his heart and crushed in in their hands. He couldn’t help the loud sob that escaped his throat and soon enough he was shaking, violent sobs wracking his body. It was his own damn fault, he was the one who went and fell in love with Jack; it wasn’t like he could blame Jack for not finding him attractive, and it sure as hell wasn’t his fault he got dosed with the pollen. And even though it burned, Mac didn’t have any regrets because he would do anything to save Jack, even if it meant losing him—surely Jack wouldn’t be able to stand being around him after this.

Mac wasn’t sure how long he sat there and cried for, the tile wall and floor cold against his body, but it was long enough that after a while he couldn’t feel his ass (which might’ve been a good thing, considering). Once he was all cried out he was too tired to move, so he sort of just… squeezed himself into a ball on the floor, and somehow he fell asleep like that.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, chapter two is here and this fic is officially COMPLETE!!! Thanks for all the love on the first part, you guys are the greatest! As always I put this fic together so any mistakes are mine alone. Enjoy! :D

In the morning, Jack woke up by himself with his whole body sore like he got thrown from a horse. Light streamed in through the cracks in the curtains, and for a second he didn’t remember where he was or how he got there. But suddenly it all came back to him—the mission, the weird gas he inhaled, getting to the motel.

The moment he remembered pushing Mac against the wall Jack sat up straight, frantically looking around, but Mac was nowhere to be seen. The memories kept flooding his mind, Mac kissing him and everything they’d done… Mac’s fingers around Jack’s cock, his _lips_ around his cock, and the way Mac was spread out underneath him. Everything was still fuzzy, but what stuck out to Jack was Mac struggling against his hold as Jack pinned him down and took him roughly anyway.

Jack felt like he was going to be sick and stumbled out of bed, reaching for his underwear which was on the floor with other discarded clothes, some of which he recognized as Mac’s. Before he could decide what to do next, he heard a quiet sniffle followed by a whimper coming from the bathroom. And those sounds had him stumbling in there a moment later, barely seeing Mac in his peripheral vision as he landed on his knees in front of the toilet and vomited so hard it was painful.

There was a tentative hand between his shoulder blades, rubbing a little, followed by Mac’s morning-rough (_sex-rough_) voice: “Are you okay?”

Jack flinched away, his head snapping in Mac’s direction. His eyes widened when he saw the bruises on Mac’s neck, disappearing under the collar of a shirt Jack realized was his. He knew there were more underneath it and there were hand-shaped bruises around Mac’s wrists. But the worst thing, the thing that broke Jack’s heart, was Mac’s red-rimmed eyes and the dark circles underneath him. His cheeks shined with tears, and now that Jack thought about it, his voice probably also sounds so terrible from crying, probably for a long time.

“No, no, no.” Jack scrambled back on the floor, as far away from Mac as possible in the small bathroom, and wound up sitting against the opposite wall.

Mac yanked his hand back to his chest like he’d been burned before reaching out absently to shut and flush the toilet. “Jack, what…” He trailed off, rubbing at one of his wrists absently. “Was it that bad? I tried my best, but if you still don’t feel right I could—”

“What?” Jack breathed out, looking at him with wide eyes. He could see how Mac’s expression was full of pain, and… Jesus, _fear_. It made sense, of course Mac would be afraid of Jack after what he did, and yet he was still offering himself to Jack to use again. Fuck, what had he _done_? “Mac, I… what I did to you, there’s no excuse. I won’t touch you again, I promise. I know you’re scared, but I swear I won’t force you into anything again. I’m… I’m so sorry.” Jack whispered the last part and wondered if his gun was around because he felt like shooting himself. “Once we get out of here you’ll never have to see me again.”

Mac’s eyes got huge too. “What? Jack, you didn’t—do you think you _raped_ me?” He unfolded himself from his hiding place and crawled until he was in front of Jack. “You didn’t do that. You never would.”

Jack tried to wrap his mind around what Mac said, his hands trembling in his lap. “But you… I remember holding you down,” he choked out, eyes filling with tears. “You struggled under me and I just… used you anyway. I don’t remember anything after that, but you’re here and obviously miserable, so if I didn’t… what did I do to you?”

“Nothing I didn’t want you to do,” Mac said hoarsely, glancing at Jack’s face briefly before looking away. “I… I liked it. A lot.”

Now that Jack wasn’t panicking, more memories came back to him and things cleared up. He remembered Mac’s voice, the sounds he made, how he arched in pleasure… but if he didn’t force Mac into this… why did he look so fucking _sad_?

“You can’t even look at me,” Jack said, not as an accusation but a statement of fact. “And you’ve been crying—hell you look like you’re about to fall apart.” He might play the idiot most of the time, but the truth was there weren’t many things Jack missed, especially when it came to Mac. The only theory Jack had was that he did or said something to upset Mac and Mac was trying to protect him from it. “Mac, did I… do anything else to you? What are you not tellin’ me?”

Mac closed his eyes, a tear slipping down his cheek. “I’m in love with you,” he said, so quietly that for a second Jack thought he misheard. “I have been for… for years now, basically since we became friends. And I knew going into this that you didn’t feel the same way, and usually I can hide it. Then… being with you like that? It was amazing… but I know it wasn’t real.” He rubbed at his face. “Just… we can forget this ever happened, or I can talk to my dad when we get back—I can start working with Desi again, whatever makes it easier for you.”

Jack couldn’t believe what he was hearing—he thought this was going to be the worst day of his life and suddenly it was turning around. It felt surreal, but he couldn’t stop the hope building up in his chest. He never thought it would be possible for Mac to return his feelings, but Jack knew Mac wouldn’t lie to him, not about something like that.

“How about option number three?” Jack asked, his voice cracking. “And you let me kiss you again?”

Mac’s eyes snapped open, staring at Jack in shock. “What? But you… _why_?” That last word was full of open disbelief, like the idea of Jack wanting to kiss Mac was so foreign that he couldn’t process it. He drifted closer to Jack nonetheless. “I thought… you seemed to so reluctant last night.”

Jack let out a humorless chuckle. “That was because I had no idea it was something you wanted. I felt like I was losing control, and I didn’t want to take advantage of you.” He hesitantly touched Mac’s face with his fingertips. “As for why… Mac, I’ve loved you since the Sandbox. Why are you still lookin’ at me like I’m gonna tell you to get lost?”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Mac asked, answering Jack’s question with one of his own. He leaned into Jack’s touch, but he checked his temperature by placing the back of his own hand on Jack’s forehead. “It doesn’t feel like you have a fever anymore—are the symptoms gone?”

Jack frowned, his eyes searching Mac’s face. “Mac, I’m okay. But I’m missing something here, aren’t I? Are _you_ okay?”

“I just…” Mac paused, and the hand he’d had on Jack’s forehead moved to rest on his knee. “I didn’t think you feeling this way about me was a possibility. At all. I was almost sure you were straight, and even if you weren’t… you could have anybody you want, so why would you pick me?” He shrugged, glancing away. “And I got so used to hiding it that anything else doesn’t seem like it could be real.”

“Why would I pick—” Jack started incredulously. “Mac, you’re the best person I know. You’re so damn smart, and there’s no one else I trust more. You’re also stupidly gorgeous, been driving me crazy for years… so I guess a better question could be why _wouldn’t_ I pick you?”

Mac looked at him with those big blue eyes, red at the edges from his crying jag. “You’re the best person I know too. And you’re… besides Bozer, you were the only one who ever chose me. Who ever thought I was worth sticking with.” He leaned in and pressed a kiss to Jack’s cheek, and then pushed himself to his feet and went into the bedroom, returning a moment later with a travel-sized bottle of mouthwash. “Here, you could probably use this.”

Getting up from the floor, Jack grabbed the bottle and after swishing some mouthwash and spitting it into the sink, he turned back to Mac. He rested his hands on Mac’s hips, pulling him closer before wrapping both his arms around him. It still felt surreal that Mac wanted this, would let Jack hold him like that after last night… and after everything, Jack needed to make sure they were on the same page. “Mac? Can I—”

“Yeah, yeah, you can,” Mac whispered, his hands coming up to hold Jack’s face.

Then they were kissing, gentle but insistent little presses of lips that slowly evolved into more, with Mac pressing closer in Jack’s hold. His hands slid down from Jack’s face and he wrapped his arms around him, those hands moving to rest in the dip of Jack’s spine. The kiss was slow and sweet, but turned more heated when Jack’s tongue slipped between Mac’s lips, eliciting a moan from him.

They explored each other for a while, with more much care than the night before, but eventually Mac broke the kiss and stepped back, taking one of Jack’s hands in his own. “Come on,” he coaxed softly, and tugged Jack back into the bedroom. They were about halfway to the bed when Jack balked, and Mac turned to look at him with a frown. “What?”

“I don’t wanna… hurt you,” Jack said quietly. “Again.” While Mac said he was fine with everything Jack did the night before, his bruises were dark and there were a bunch of them, so he had to be in _some_ pain. “You must be pretty sore.”

Mac smiled, this soft, easy thing that erased all the shadows occupying his face. “A little.” He sat on the edge of the mattress, tugging Jack down with him. “But it’s not a bad kind of sore.” He lifted Jack’s hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to the back of it. “I just want… I _need_ you to understand that you didn’t do anything I didn’t want or enjoy, Jack.”

Jack saw nothing but sincerity in Mac’s eyes, which looked at him with way more love than he felt he deserved. Reaching to cup Mac’s jaw, he slid his hand lower, gently running his fingers against the bruises on Mac’s neck, his other hand gently wrapping around Mac’s wrist. “It’s just… if I ever… you’d tell me, right?”

“Of course I’d tell you,” Mac replied. “But you wouldn’t hurt me, Jack. And you didn’t last night, I swear.”

Jack pulled Mac into a kiss, his one hand still on his neck while the other settled on Mac’s bare thigh. Mac wrapped his arms around Jack’s neck and used his grip to throw a leg over him and crawl into his lap, using the new angle to deepen the kiss. Jack couldn’t help but groan when Mac nipped on his bottom lip, and he slid both arms around him to pull him closer, when suddenly both of their phones buzzed with incoming text—Jack’s in the pocket of his jeans and Mac’s on the nightstand.

Mac sighed against Jack’s mouth, pulling back enough to speak. “That’s probably exfil.” He gave Jack what was supposed to be a parting kiss that turned into two, then three, with Jack’s hands drifting to Mac’s ass before Mac broke away again. “We should probably get out of here… but you could, uh, come over to my place after we land? If you want?”

Jack buried his face in Mac’s neck, gently kissing the bruises before pecking Mac’s cheek. “Of course I want,” he muttered, grinning at him. “Lead the way, gorgeous.”

~***~

The exfil location turned out to be less of an airstrip and more of a valley with a flat spot, and the plane was one of the smaller Phoenix jets. After they stowed their bags and endured takeoff (which was not smooth), Mac unbuckled his seatbelt and climbed on top of Jack. He felt Jack freeze in surprise but his arms went around Mac all the same, even as Mac huffed in frustration while trying to make himself comfortable. It wasn’t easy with his long legs, but eventually he curled up in Jack’s lap.

“Mac?” Jack asked, a tinge of confusion in his voice. “You okay?”

“Mhmm,” Mac hummed, and tugged at Jack’s arms until they were wrapped around him. He rested his head against Jack’s shoulder and tilted it back to look at him, hair tickling the side of Jack’s neck. “I didn’t exactly sleep much on the bathroom floor. Do you mind?”

“Not at all.” Jack pressed his lips to Mac’s temple, and Mac sighed and shut his eyes.

He went to sleep and stayed that way until they landed in LA and had to go for a debrief at the Phoenix. Thankfully it was just them and Matty, and apparently Riley didn’t mention Mac’s phone call about the pollen because it wasn’t in the records and Matty didn’t say anything about it. Once that was done, they headed over to Mac’s place and busted out the beers and ordered way too much Mexican food for two people. They went out on the deck, and everything was okay… but Mac knew he was sitting too close to Jack, and even staring at him when he went in the kitchen for more beer.

Once they were done eating, Jack took Mac’s bottle out of his hands. “Hey, what’s up?”

Mac sighed, and since he didn’t have the bottle to fiddle with he ran a hand through his hair. “I… this is going to sound stupid,” he started, but Jack just nudged him to continue. “I keep expecting to wake up in the bathroom alone, because there’s part of me that can’t believe this is real. I’ve wanted this—wanted _you_—for so long, that I’ve gotten used to pushing it away.”

“It’s not stupid,” Jack said, wrapping his arm around Mac and tugging at him until they were face-to-face. “I get it, darlin’, I do. The fact that I get to have you, that you… that this is something you want? It’s blowing my mind.” He gave Mac a smile and cupped his face. “And I’m not going anywhere, you understand? Now that I’ve got you, you ain’t getting rid of me that easily.”

Mac was quiet for a moment while he processed that, and then he leaned in to give Jack a kiss. “I love you,” he said, because it was the truth, it had been for years and it felt unbelievably good to say it out loud. He put his hand on Jack’s thigh and couldn’t help but smile when Jack’s hand covered his own.

“I love you too,” Jack whispered, and moved to kiss him again.

It wasn’t long before Mac licked his way into Jack’s mouth, deepening the kiss. His hands moved so he could wrap his arms around Jack’s neck, pulling him closer, and he let out a pleased sound when Jack put both of his arms around Mac’s waist. Kissing Jack was addicting, learning everything about his mouth and enjoying little sparks of pleasure when Jack’s tongue or teeth did something particularly wicked. But Mac knew what he really wanted, and eventually he broke the kiss to stand and grab Jack’s shoulders, pulling him up too.

He smiled at Jack, wide and genuine, and tugged him toward his bedroom. As soon as they crossed the threshold Mac turned to put his arms around Jack’s neck again and pressed their lips together, laughing into the kiss. He couldn’t help it, he was just too damn happy. He felt Jack smile against his mouth and Mac started walking backward, until the backs of his knees hit the edge of the bed and he fell down on the mattress, Jack following him down a second later.

It was different from the night before, but some things were the same: Jack’s hands explored his body and they weren’t nearly as desperate, but they felt the same against his skin. And when Mac tugged at the hem of Jack’s shirt and got him to take it off, he was still struck by how fucking hot Jack was, with all his scars and muscles contrasting sharply with how soft his lips were when they pressed against Mac’s lips, his jaw, his neck. Jack started pawing at Mac’s shirt, huffing at the buttons and groaning when he realized Mac was wearing an undershirt underneath it.

Once the layers were removed Jack dove in, kissing Mac’s shoulder gently and taking in the bruises and marks from the night before. He ran a gentle hand down Mac’s chest. “You sure about this?”

Mac blinked, head tilting to one side. “Of course I am,” he said, hooking a hand around the back of Jack’s neck to pull him down for a kiss.

His other hand went to the front of Jack’s jeans, which he remembered how to open one-handed, and it was much easier this time since Jack wasn’t thrusting against him every other second. Mac slid his hand down from Jack’s neck to yank his jeans down as far as they’d go before moving on to his own belt, undoing it fairly quickly even with Jack sucking a distracting set of bruises into his collarbone. They had to separate for a moment to get the rest of their clothes off, tossing everything haphazardly on the floor before resuming their previous activities.

Mac didn’t get a chance to be pressed so close to Jack when he was completely frantic with want, so this was… nice, even if it was also driving him a little insane. He wondered about something, so as Jack’s lips traveled further down his body, he asked breathlessly, “What… what do you remember from last night?”

Jack glanced up at him. “Pretty much everything, I guess. Why?”

“Just curious,” Mac replied, fingers exploring the muscles of Jack’s shoulders. “Mostly about which parts you wanted to do again.” He watched Jack’s eyes go wide, his smile growing more wicked when he realized Jack was actually at a loss for words, licking his lips and blinking. He grabbed Jack’s shoulders and rolled them so he was on top, straddling Jack’s thighs, their hard cocks almost but not quite touching. He pushed a hand through his hair to get it out of his face. “So, if you had to pick something you wanted to do with me right now, what would it be? Because in case it wasn’t clear, I’m down for anything.”

“Fuck,” Jack breathed out, looking Mac up and down. “I… kinda recall that you don’t have a gag reflex. But maybe we should test that theory again?”

“I think we can do that,” Mac murmured, the words low as he pressed his lips to Jack’s throat, biting and sucking a trail from his neck to his chest, pausing to lick over a nipple briefly before moving lower still.

He nudged Jack’s legs apart with his shoulders, attaching his lips to his hip and grinning up at him when Jack whined impatiently. He gave Jack’s cock a teasing lick and wrapped his hand around the base, sucking at the head. Jack threw his head back at the feeling, but it was only a moment before Mac patted his thigh to get his attention, removing his hand to take Jack’s cock all the way down his throat. Then he reached over and picked up one of Jack’s hands, putting it on his head, with Jack’s fingers sort of automatically tangling in his hair.

Releasing a shuddering breath, Jack tightened his fingers in Mac’s hair and Mac couldn’t help but groan around his cock, the noise getting cut off when Jack thrusted his hips up once, then again. He was the only person Mac would trust enough to do this, but beyond that, he was the only person who’d brought this desire out in Mac at all—to cede control, to let Jack take what he wanted from him. He’d always liked sucking cock, but this was something else entirely and he loved every second of it. Jack started getting bolder, thrusts coming harder and more frequently, and Mac just took it, swallowing around him when his lips touched the base of Jack’s cock.

After a few more thrusts Jack’s hips stilled, and he tugged Mac’s hair in a different way. “Come back up here, baby.”

Mac released Jack’s cock from his mouth with a sticky sound and went willingly when Jack’s fingers pulled him up to eye level so Jack could kiss him, tongue running over his teeth. Mac was practically vibrating he was so aroused, little tremors shaking his body, his cock so hard it hurt. “Jack?” he asked, and waited until Jack was looking him in the eye to continue, “I really want you to fuck me again.”

Jack froze for a second before wrapping his arm around Mac and rolling them with a growl that reminded Mac of the night before. And before he could tell him where to look, Jack yanked the nightstand drawer open and grabbed lube and condoms, tossing them on the mattress. Since they worked out the condom thing last night, Mac grabbed the box and threw it across the room, bringing Jack down into another kiss and hooking a leg over his waist to bring him in closer.

He was determined to drive Mac crazy with his mouth, nipping at his jaw before moving lower, sucking a bruise into one of Mac’s remaining unmarked patches of skin. Meanwhile, Jack poured some lube on his fingers and found Mac’s entrance by touch-memory, circling his hole gently with one finger before pushing inside. Mac gasped, his hands coming up to grip Jack’s shoulders—it felt as good as he remembered, but even better now that he knew Jack wanted this as much as he did. It wasn’t long before Jack added a second finger, scissoring them and pushing in deeper, and Mac let out a high-pitched whine when Jack’s fingers brushed his prostate. Jack added more lube before he pushed in a third finger, sucking on Mac’s nipple and earning some scratches from his nails on his shoulders and arms.

“Jack, God, please,” Mac said, taut and airless, fucking himself down against Jack’s fingers. “I’m ready, just please get inside me.”

Jack quickly coated his cock in lube before lining himself up, the head pressing against Mac’s entrance. His eyes widened and his lips parted when Jack started pushing in, making small breathless sounds until Jack bottomed out and forced himself to stay still, even though his body was trembling with lust. Jack felt perfect inside Mac, just like last night, big enough that he had to concentrate on his breathing so he didn’t get overwhelmed.

He felt the tension in Jack’s muscles and wrapped his arms around his back, pulling him close and kissing his cheek. “You can move. I’m okay, I promise.”

Taking a deep breath, Jack cautiously thrusted in and out a few times. Mac’s hands drifted lower, sliding down Jack’s back to grope his ass and pull him in that much tighter. He rolled his hips to meet each of Jack’s thrusts, and it felt good, it felt amazing—but Mac knew what Jack was capable of doing to him and this wasn’t it.

He turned his head and nipped Jack’s earlobe, before whispering, “Harder, Jack. I w-want it harder.”

Jack made a wounded sound in the back of his throat and kissed Mac’s throat, then thrusted a bit harder before pulling out almost completely and slamming back inside. Mac’s fingers started scrabbling at the skin of Jack’s ass and back for purchase as the pace got faster and more intense, his little cries turning into bigger ones the more Jack hit his prostate. Mac came suddenly and with a scream, his whole body curling tightly around Jack, inner muscles squeezing and rippling around Jack’s cock.

Jack groaned when Mac clenched around him and moved his arms to slide them under Mac’s back, hugging him close as he continued to pound into him. He buried his face in Mac’s neck, panting against his skin. It only took a few more brutal thrusts for Jack to come, a strangled sob escaping his body. Mac hugged him tightly, legs dropping from around his waist, thighs trembling too much to stay up anymore. He felt come leaking out of him around Jack’s softening cock and that shouldn’t have made Mac’s cock twitch but it did.

Jack shook against him, and Mac fought through his afterglow for some coherency. “Hey, hey, it’s all right,” he said, rubbing his hand up and down Jack’s spine. “Babe, are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jack breathed out. “You… what you let me do—” He cut off, sighing against Mac’s neck. “How can you trust me so much?”

Mac blinked, trying to process the question. “What? Jack I trust you more than anyone.” He brought his hands up to cradle Jack’s face, pulling his head back enough that they could look each other in the eye. “Where is this coming from?”

“It’s just… I know you. You don’t let people get too close, but you… you let me in,” Jack said quietly. “And the things you let me do to you… you just let me take whatever I wanted.”

“Jack, baby, I hate to break it to you, but that’s what trust is,” Mac said, thumb smoothing over Jack’s cheek. “Letting someone in, letting them take what they want from you and believing they’re not going to hurt you in the process.” He smiled. “I know I keep people at arm’s length a lot, but… not you. Never you. I had so many defenses and fail safes, and when I met you they all just… crumbled.”

“I was a bastard when I met you,” Jack told him matter-of-factly. “I can’t believe you gave me a chance despite that.” Taking one of his hands out from under Mac, Jack brushed the hair out of his face and leaned in to press a sweet kiss to his lips. “I love you.”

“I love you too, and you weren’t a bastard,” Mac protested, fingers absently cataloguing the scars on Jack’s back. “You were just… tired, and lost. I was lost too.” He smiled wider, so happy it made his face hurt. “But we make each other better. That’s all that matters.”


End file.
